Your Baseball Update

Yankees clinch. Boston and Texas are duking it out for the AL wild card. Detroit and Minnesota still wrestling, Angels and Rangers playing out the skein (if the Republican Party en masse were to be infected with a virus that compels the victim to tell the truth at all times, the Rangers might have a shot of coming from behind. Maybe). The Cubs were finally eliminated, and St. Louis has clinched. Florida bit the big one, so the competition is between Philadelphia and Atlanta. The Dodgers and the Rockies, well, I don't think it's the Rockies' year. There will be NL wild card eliminations coming up right after this important word from--

Sorry. Wrong patter.

Meanwhile, what the hell are Nashville and Columbus doing in the NHL?